I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
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today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
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I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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