no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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