My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
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Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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