i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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