After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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