My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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