i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
