The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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