Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize