I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
