A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."