Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.