I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.