I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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