There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize