i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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