Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize