I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign