i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Life is so much better after having sex.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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