Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize