yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..