just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
