Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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