I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
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I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
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You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.