You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex