things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina