I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
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you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
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Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?