I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?