I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.