you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize