Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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