She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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