im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
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he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
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He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.