Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??