i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
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you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
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Your topless pictures make me question reality
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize