He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.