Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Cold hands, warm shart.

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  (248): Cold hands, warm shart. http://tfl.nu/a5c8
  Replies (3) Good night (1262) Bad night (3579)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.

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  (248): I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first. http://tfl.nu/88zr
  Replies (18) Good night (3656) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.

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  (913): checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad. http://tfl.nu/40qb
  Replies (27) Good night (1908) Bad night (7455)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table

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  (330): It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table http://tfl.nu/2wbi
  Replies (24) Good night (1102) Bad night (3998)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.

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  (613): Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing. http://tfl.nu/hxx0
  Replies (37) Good night (4500) Bad night (819)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations

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  (228): yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations http://tfl.nu/eytk
  Replies (16) Good night (5726) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun

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  (304): hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun http://tfl.nu/jcw4
  Replies (16) Good night (4260) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.

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  (404): standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture. http://tfl.nu/15y7
  Replies (36) Good night (12769) Bad night (1198)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.

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  (937): after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head. http://tfl.nu/3prw
  Replies (45) Good night (10713) Bad night (4448)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.

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  (386): Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately. http://tfl.nu/dyb2
  Replies (17) Good night (1028) Bad night (6444)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?

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  (408): Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar? http://tfl.nu/xsyo
  Replies (6) Good night (1852) Bad night (787)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.

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  (847): I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it. http://tfl.nu/yf92
  Replies (28) Good night (1737) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  That literally makes no sense

  (406): View more from Montana

  Exactly

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  (406): You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt (1-406): That literally makes no sense (406): Exactly http://tfl.nu/db6l
  Replies (7) Good night (2275) Bad night (814)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!

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  (614): She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!! http://tfl.nu/awdf
  Replies (5) Good night (1304) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"

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  (515): I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone" http://tfl.nu/9mhp
  Replies (5) Good night (949) Bad night (445)

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