youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
this is jacob
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?