Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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