I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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