is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
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buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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