This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
