we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
