Pappa wants mamma naked
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize