worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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