So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
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She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
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Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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