everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
