So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
