Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me