I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
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We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom