Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
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Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
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most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.