Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
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Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
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I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.