his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize