I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
