I'm really into asian looking animals
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.