Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.