i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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