Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
there was a trapeze. enough said
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Randomize