Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Randomize
