just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I understand Curling. That high.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
