In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.