I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.