I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
i believe in u and ur pee
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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