Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
