Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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